brownstearns

We live in New York and constantly interact with the glitterati. Constantly.
October 27
Jonathan Franzia I saw Jonathan Franzen at the Food Emporium on 3rd Avenue and 81st. I was in the frozen foods aisle stocking up on burritos and other organic (frozen) foodstuffs, and lo, Jonathan Franzen! I guess his body is a temple too, because he was also peering in the Amy’s section and probably also only buys Annie’s macaroni and cheese which, let’s just face it, is basically the same as Lipton Pasta Sides but two dollars more. He looked good, too! Can I say that? I know I’m supposed to respect him but mostly I thought he looked really good. I think it was because he was wearing a Patagonia, which seems to make all men look youthful and fit and rugged. Maybe that’s just my thing, I guess.

Jonathan Franzia

I saw Jonathan Franzen at the Food Emporium on 3rd Avenue and 81st. I was in the frozen foods aisle stocking up on burritos and other organic (frozen) foodstuffs, and lo, Jonathan Franzen! I guess his body is a temple too, because he was also peering in the Amy’s section and probably also only buys Annie’s macaroni and cheese which, let’s just face it, is basically the same as Lipton Pasta Sides but two dollars more.

He looked good, too! Can I say that? I know I’m supposed to respect him but mostly I thought he looked really good. I think it was because he was wearing a Patagonia, which seems to make all men look youthful and fit and rugged. Maybe that’s just my thing, I guess.

September 11
Justin Barfa Stephanie said she saw Justin Bartha at Cafe Loop at 13th and 6th. For whatever reason he was there going on and on about his movies and completely eating vegan food. He also wouldn’t shut up about how he is dating Ashley Olsen. She noticed that his phone has a stylus that he couldn’t stop using cause his fingers are like big bratwursts.

Justin Barfa

Stephanie said she saw Justin Bartha at Cafe Loop at 13th and 6th. For whatever reason he was there going on and on about his movies and completely eating vegan food. He also wouldn’t shut up about how he is dating Ashley Olsen. She noticed that his phone has a stylus that he couldn’t stop using cause his fingers are like big bratwursts.

March 30
look how good we look. we never wear make up!

look how good we look. we never wear make up!

March 25

And to all a good night!

And around from The Big Easy there came a great clatter!

I rushed to my window to see what was the matter

Indeed I knew that trouble was nigh

and in full pursuit, a police chase on high!

A young drunken man ran out from the bar

and poor old policeman, he had to run far!

As he rushed and he rambled, the man got a-way

Perhaps Brown-Stearns will never know what became of today!

February 21

Last night I threw up in my sleep

Stephanie’s Mom is in town and it’s been lots of fun. This is a big visit month, ranging from my boyfurendo (I read that in Japanese, that’s how they say boyfriend) to my old college roommate to Stephanie’s mom.

Anyway, I forgot all the words for a second.

Stephanie’s mom saw Daniel Radcliffe at 3rd and 70-something.

When we asked her about him she said: “He’s more buft than he’s skinny.”

Stephanie saw James Franco again, and she said the exact same thing her mom said about Daniel Radcliffe.

January 27

Sometimes Living in New York Feels Like This:

December 29

MY Celebrity Wish List

1. A dinner with the entire cast of Arrested Development. I will be in the middle, delicately placed on a lazy susan (not sexually). 

Also, I totally saw Mariah Carey in Puerto Rico. She was filming the video for the song Honey. 

-Brown

December 28

My Celebrity Sighting Wishlist

1. Mariah Carey: I’ve always admired Mariah Carey, and receiving the “Emotions” cassette tape when I was eight was a benchmark moment. It was then I realized that I was a homosexual man.

That’s all she wrote!

December 11
Biscotti di Vagina Stephanie and I are making Biscotti di Vagina and braiding our challah tonite! It’s a cold, rainy night in New York, but very warm and dry in our home and our hearts.

Biscotti di Vagina

Stephanie and I are making Biscotti di Vagina and braiding our challah tonite! It’s a cold, rainy night in New York, but very warm and dry in our home and our hearts.

November 29

I had this delicious lemon raspberry muffin from Two Little Red Hens. I know it’s not a celeb, but maybe it should be. Also, I miss Stearns. Come back. 

-Brown