Justin Barfa
Stephanie said she saw Justin Bartha at Cafe Loop at 13th and 6th. For whatever reason he was there going on and on about his movies and completely eating vegan food. He also wouldn’t shut up about how he is dating Ashley Olsen. She noticed that his phone has a stylus that he couldn’t stop using cause his fingers are like big bratwursts.
look how good we look. we never wear make up!
And around from The Big Easy there came a great clatter!
I rushed to my window to see what was the matter
Indeed I knew that trouble was nigh
and in full pursuit, a police chase on high!
A young drunken man ran out from the bar
and poor old policeman, he had to run far!
As he rushed and he rambled, the man got a-way
Perhaps Brown-Stearns will never know what became of today!
Stephanie’s Mom is in town and it’s been lots of fun. This is a big visit month, ranging from my boyfurendo (I read that in Japanese, that’s how they say boyfriend) to my old college roommate to Stephanie’s mom.
Anyway, I forgot all the words for a second.
Stephanie’s mom saw Daniel Radcliffe at 3rd and 70-something.
When we asked her about him she said: “He’s more buft than he’s skinny.”
Stephanie saw James Franco again, and she said the exact same thing her mom said about Daniel Radcliffe.
Sometimes Living in New York Feels Like This:
This Season of Real Housewives of Orange County has changed television:
Oh god, Real Housewives of the OC! I didn’t think you’d get better after slamming Vicki Gunvalson in the head with a wet football in Lake Havasu…but you did!
I felt real bad for Gretchen this morning, because…shit! She’s only got her fiance in the hospital dripping away their savings, and all she wants to do is LIVE! Those women just wanted to exploit her beauty, and didn’t not think of what would happen. Tamra offered up poor Ryan like a sheep for slaughter, just dangling him in front of poor, undersexed Gretchen.
Gretchen naturally took the bait. Ryan has a face like a demon and that’s just gold to her. Watching his nostrils flare in anticipation of pleasuring a woman who’s exploiting a man with cancer made me shudder.
Vicki wasn’t on point this episode. She went to her family’s house, and naturally they decided to pour gasoline all over the yard and light it on fire. Chicago was fun.
I respect everything Tamra has done to make this a good show this season:
1. Calling chronically under-weight women fat
2. Squeezing the head of her husbands penis…constantly
3. The dinner party she threw for this episode, featuring a Top Chef cheftestant
4. Lauding her son’s parenting skills for first fathering, and then essentially killing a baby and recording this event on his bottom lip. The child’s name was Nugget.
1. A dinner with the entire cast of Arrested Development. I will be in the middle, delicately placed on a lazy susan (not sexually).
Also, I totally saw Mariah Carey in Puerto Rico. She was filming the video for the song Honey.
-Brown
1. Mariah Carey: I’ve always admired Mariah Carey, and receiving the “Emotions” cassette tape when I was eight was a benchmark moment. It was then I realized that I was a homosexual man.
That’s all she wrote!
The Problem with The Day the Earth Stood Still is that it isn’t Independence Day:
I have a problem with movies that pretend to be activism and then ultimately wreck how awesome they could be with their messages. I didn’t need to hear about the environnment, and I didn’t need to hear (again) about how all americans drink haterade all day long before they go out and warmonger at night.
So basically DtESS was a terrible thoughtful Independence Day. I will never forget that I spent monies on an IMAX showing only to be talked at all night long.
Good:
G.O.R.T: apparently made of flesh eating bacteria
The poignant relationship between a white woman and a black child displayed prominently on the silver screen.
Bad:
All of the terrible noises coming out of Jennifer Connelly’s mouth.
Biscotti di Vagina
Stephanie and I are making Biscotti di Vagina and braiding our challah tonite! It’s a cold, rainy night in New York, but very warm and dry in our home and our hearts.
